Despite the differences in surrogacy for straight, infertile people and gay men, it’s still the most accurate account of the challenges and joys of the surrogacy process I’ve read. I read all of them voraciously, and this was my favorite of the bunch: Mahoney is hilarious, and his unpretentious, conversational writing style was a breath of fresh air in the normally ponderous genre of family-building memoir. The ones that did exist made surrogacy seem like a tragedy, a “last resort.” But there were great stories coming out of the gay male community, where surrogacy and egg donation are increasingly popular - and rightfully celebrated - ways to build one’s family. Get it from Amazon or Barnes & Noble for $11.95, or find it at Indiebound or your local library.Īs my husband and I set out to have a baby through gestational surrogacy, I was disappointed to find that narratives about surrogacy families were all but absent from the literature on infertility. And being able to define *why* I wanted children was ultimately empowering during a time I felt most helpless. Reading The Baby Matrix as an infertile woman helped me distinguish what parts of my grief were from actually wanting to be a parent, and what parts were driven by social expectations and stigma around childlessness. She debunks multiple misconceptions driving pronatalist attitudes, like the “biological clock” and the assumption that having children is the greatest source of human meaning and fulfillment. Carroll explores the myths and pressures behind pronatalism - the pervasive idea that everyone should have children - to make the argument that we’d all be better off if having kids were considered not an inevitability or a duty, but a vocation best suited for those who consider it a true calling. The Baby Matrix isn't a book about infertility - but it is one of the most helpful things I read while I was in my darkest moments.
Some of them surprised me - the books I found resonated most weren’t necessarily by women, or even about infertility - but, for me at least, they hit on some key aspects of the desire and struggle to build a family that includes children in ways that made me feel not only less alone, but proud of my story - with all of its complexity, trauma, and triumph. The following are books I found that I thought provided special insight and guidance into the process of trying to conceive, adopt, or live childfree after infertility. This isolation makes the stories that do get it right all the more important for those of us seeking community and meaning.
Most troublingly, the popular image of infertility is that of an upper-middle-class, white, straight-partnered woman in her mid-to-late thirties, a stereotype that erases the significant experiences of black, indigenous, poor, and LGBTQ women who face barriers to diagnosis and treatment. Every sitcom plot line ended with a surprise pregnancy, every well-meaning news article began and ended with the IVF process, and the majority of books on the topic were in the self-help genre, focused more on helping women conceive than on infertility’s emotional and social impact. When pop culture and news media represented us at all, it was in ways that were at worst scornful and at best inaccurate and formulaic. During my own five-year struggle to have a baby with my husband, I became keenly aware of this stigma, and how poorly women with infertility in particular are reflected in books, on screens, and online. Choose a book that suits you! You’ll be more likely to read it and absorb the info if you connect with the content.Infertility is a lonely thing to go through - few people talk about it openly. Whether you are expecting twins, an LQBQT mom-to-be, a science-based reader, or a more lighthearted person, there’s a pregnancy book out there to fit your style and preferences.
While the book doesn’t need to be written by a doctor to be helpful, it is important to check out the author to make sure they are legit. Make sure that the book you are relying on bases its information on science, medical research, and reputable sources. What to Look for in a Pregnancy Book Reputable Information For a second source, choose a lifestyle-specific guide or the 50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide ( view on Amazon) that’ll keep you busy and engaged for nine months. If you want just one book that will provide you with week-by-week information and useful tips, What to Expect When You’re Expecting ( view on Amazon) is a tried and true resource.
0 kommentar(er)
